i have a confession to make.
i have been trying to stay very positive throughout the last few weeks, but truth be told, this has been a very emotional time for me. thinking about what i am about to leave. thinking about what i have to look forward to. it is truly bittersweet. is it okay for me to be excited? there are days when i cannot wait to get on that plane. there are also days when i think "what the heck am i getting myself into?" i guess last friday it all caught up to me. on my walk to the train station (yes, in public) i broke down into tears. the uncontrollable sobbing kind. as i often do when i need to talk to someone, i immediately called my friend go- who always seems to know what to say.
go reminded me that some people are only meant to be in your lives for a moment in time, while others, for much longer. that all of these moments in the past three years will never be lost- so long as i don't let them become lost. sometimes it isn't enough to hear it from just one person. or even the second person you call. it takes time for you to realize what is about to happen, and accept it- come to terms with it. i have had some time now to reflect on all of the relationships and memories i have made and how they will or will not continue to play a role in my life going forward.
is this the right decision? well, of course it is. i chose it to be. why does it feel so hard to for me to just let go?
then i got home to see this little munchkin's smile. and somehow, everything felt better.
i have been trying to stay very positive throughout the last few weeks, but truth be told, this has been a very emotional time for me. thinking about what i am about to leave. thinking about what i have to look forward to. it is truly bittersweet. is it okay for me to be excited? there are days when i cannot wait to get on that plane. there are also days when i think "what the heck am i getting myself into?" i guess last friday it all caught up to me. on my walk to the train station (yes, in public) i broke down into tears. the uncontrollable sobbing kind. as i often do when i need to talk to someone, i immediately called my friend go- who always seems to know what to say.
go reminded me that some people are only meant to be in your lives for a moment in time, while others, for much longer. that all of these moments in the past three years will never be lost- so long as i don't let them become lost. sometimes it isn't enough to hear it from just one person. or even the second person you call. it takes time for you to realize what is about to happen, and accept it- come to terms with it. i have had some time now to reflect on all of the relationships and memories i have made and how they will or will not continue to play a role in my life going forward.
is this the right decision? well, of course it is. i chose it to be. why does it feel so hard to for me to just let go?
then i got home to see this little munchkin's smile. and somehow, everything felt better.
.JPG) |
| munchkin |
today marks the official two week mark of my departure from japan and return to new york!
j
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